Remember that movie genre where people would switch bodies and see what its like to be someone else? Remember how you'd laugh at Tom Hanks pretending he's a boy in "Big"? Remember that classic Freaky Friday with Jamie Lee Curtis and a pre-alcoholic Lindsey Lohan switching places and the laughter that ensued? Well, something strange like that happened at the home base last night...
It all started with the two of us staring at the TV watching what we used to call entertainment but now call "what is this crap?". After growing more disillusioned than normal after viewing a "program" with moms and daughters parading around like Miss USA contestants but looking like it was created and filmed in just under an hour, we decided to go to bed. That's when all of a sudden I didn't feel myself. I started to feel, well, more "Sarah".
As I was laying down in bed, I felt more tired than usual, and as a result started to get pretty irritated. But the more tired I got, the more I couldn't sleep. So I did what I normally would never do - I threw on some "comfy" clothes and headed to the living room. Oh, it didn't stop there... I took my place on the couch reserved for Sarah... the place where you lay down just so and the couch kind of conforms around you like it knows you. Of course, I think the couch was wondering where the extra 70 pounds was coming from. Right away I noticed a chill in the air. So, do I do what I normally do and throw an extra layer on? NO... I turn the heat up and go and grab my "blanky" from the closet. I crawled back on the couch with my pillows propped up just so and covered myself all up...
So I lay there... and lay there... and... looked for the remote. I flip around a little and search for my own version of reality TV, the Celtics game. After growing tired of them blowing out another team AGAIN (I'm so spoiled), I started to look around and see what else was on. It started with reruns of that Brady Bunch kid trying to get married to his stripper/model girlfriend, but then ended up on Lifetime, where a seemingly innocent story of a mother and child took a dramatic turn when the child went missing. I was hooked. I was even mentally trying to help the TV police find the fictional Mom's fictional child.
Oh wait, it gets worse... I haven't eaten all day mind you and had the craving for something sweet. So what do I go for? M&M's... yeah the same candy that is only reserved for one person in this house and its not me. The same candy who just a few hours prior I had to ration out to said other person to prevent her from eating an entire bag. So I sit there... and eat one, two , three... thirty-six.... until the WHOLE bag is gone. I think it is at this point I went into a sugar coma...
This morning I was awoken by the wife at 6 am, telling me to go into the bedroom and get some more sleep. Wait, 6 am? What is that pretty smell? Did she shower too??? See, if you knew us, you'd know I'M usually the one up at 5:30 and I'M the one dragging her out of bed at 6 am. So, I did what any spouse would do on their vacation having their sleep interrupted, I grabbed my "blanky", stumbled to the bedroom while throwing a tantrum. Just like someone else I know...
When I woke up later, I felt strange. More myself, I shuttered as I glanced over and saw that it was 8 am. My mouth dropped open when I walked out to the living room and witnessed the empty M&M package that may as well have been marked exhibit "A". I looked around and saw my "comfy" clothes laying on the ground... is this what the wife feels like the next morning? It seemed more like what a werewolf would feel like...
So, as I sit here typing this, wrapped in my "comfy blanky" and sipping hot chocolate, wondering how many bon-bon's are in the freezer... I was thinking...
Is there a full moon tonight?
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