So I want to be a photographer when I grow up. Since I can remember, I have jumped around from idea to idea, yet always have allowed my interest in photography to be my main denominator. "What have I done?" one may ask - well, in short, not much. I am always amazed by photos other people take, especially those which are out of the box. Me, I can't seem to shoot a picture without blur. Yet for some reason when I see an awesome picture or set of pictures, I think, "I can do that". I have yet to be struck on the head by the baseball bat of reality - so I continue with my interest. I recently got married, and became enamored with our wedding photographer's style that I decided to begin taking baby steps toward my interest. I can't tell if its the actually clicking of a camera that gets me excited or the idea that I actually look forward to something with some passion.
The problem is with technology and all there is to learn, and my need to know everything yesterday, I can't slow down enough to learn step by step to be an expert. On top of that, I have other fleeting interests that get in the way from day to day. Its the old ADD that I know I have but don't get checked or tell people about because its such a bogus catch all problem. So as the clock of life ticks forward, I get more and more concerned that I will never take advantage of any interest, or passion. Life gets in the way like that. "Go to college!" (even if your not sure what you're supposed to do) "Get a job to pay the bills!" (incurred while at college because I had no idea how to budget or that plastic doesn't equal paper) "Find a girl and get married" (everyone wants a companion, but sometimes you forget to find yourself beforehand) "Buy a house!" (that's what your supposed to do as a responsible adult, right?) "Have kids, start a family!" (shit... I'm still a kid, I still haven't grown up and become what I want to be).
I have no idea how I got on this tangent, but you understand more and more how the days are like vicious cyclones in my head as all these thoughts and more destroy my ability to think, concentrate, focus, remember and just BE. So, getting back to photography, its a passion and I'm sticking to it. Even if I have no idea what I'm doing outside of seeing a good picture. I hope by not taking other things on and erasing some "time wasters"......... then maybe I'll have enough focus to become good at something - maybe make money or more importantly make a difference with a lens - who knows...
The problem is with technology and all there is to learn, and my need to know everything yesterday, I can't slow down enough to learn step by step to be an expert. On top of that, I have other fleeting interests that get in the way from day to day. Its the old ADD that I know I have but don't get checked or tell people about because its such a bogus catch all problem. So as the clock of life ticks forward, I get more and more concerned that I will never take advantage of any interest, or passion. Life gets in the way like that. "Go to college!" (even if your not sure what you're supposed to do) "Get a job to pay the bills!" (incurred while at college because I had no idea how to budget or that plastic doesn't equal paper) "Find a girl and get married" (everyone wants a companion, but sometimes you forget to find yourself beforehand) "Buy a house!" (that's what your supposed to do as a responsible adult, right?) "Have kids, start a family!" (shit... I'm still a kid, I still haven't grown up and become what I want to be).
I have no idea how I got on this tangent, but you understand more and more how the days are like vicious cyclones in my head as all these thoughts and more destroy my ability to think, concentrate, focus, remember and just BE. So, getting back to photography, its a passion and I'm sticking to it. Even if I have no idea what I'm doing outside of seeing a good picture. I hope by not taking other things on and erasing some "time wasters"......... then maybe I'll have enough focus to become good at something - maybe make money or more importantly make a difference with a lens - who knows...
The journey continues....
No comments:
Post a Comment